It was by chance that I entered the chat room, I am hardly ever on there, multi tasking as I booked a hotel room for a play date confirmed just earlier on that day.
It must have been at least six months since I chatted to him or sent him a message – heck I was sick of the chasing and constant cancels and last minute office emergencies. If you want my company then you want it, no umming, no arrring, no doubt.
A private message appeared and to my surprise he said hello. ‘Whatever’ I had thought to myself. ‘Dick-head games again’ I don’t have time.
“Can I see you for three hours tonight” – those words were right before my eyes and I laughed at the thought of him wasting my time again. I decided to say yes only because I already had a room booked for an earlier play-date.
9.30pm comes and I had already made plans for some friends to come around and have a few drinks. My mobile receives a text saying he is on his way. I gasped. Disbelief. This guy is actually real?
Still not believing anything to be true coming from this supposed punter, i ignored and carried on pottering about the hotel room when the door knocked.
I think I must have threw up my organs given the chance as I now believe it to be a practical joke amongst friends or foe.
The door opens and there he stood. Alive, warm from being alive, the most amazing eyes and dare I mention the six pack he brought with him. Right I say, I’ll get the pizza’s then. I had to stall my friends.
What followed was an amazing three days, of what we could have been if the time was right, and the place was right, and we weren’t who we were, attached, a working girl, a situation only temporary and one that could never be.
It was hard to just accept the three days of bliss, I wanted an eternity of bliss, and I just knew that ‘happily ever after’ was engraved somewhere in ‘us’ but it in a place never to be found.
Reluctantly I had to let him go. For the coming weeks he intruded my dreams, my day dreams and haunted my mind with flashing images of us kissing, looking into his eyes, the taste of him, the feel of him inside me, and the connection between our minds. They were like two pieces of one perfect, non-faulting and unique masterpiece, made only to be connected with each other and no one else.
Soul mates, we are meant to come across a few in one lifetime. I believe I found one in him. Some of us may be lucky enough to find one and even another, whilst others live not knowing if they may have merely just missed theirs. But in this instance it took every bit of strength to let it go rather than to bond.
Three days of bliss, spectacular bliss, a taste of what it would be like to live and have all of your wants and desires surrounding your every being.
There is a famous quote I believe:
“It’s better to have loved than not to have loved at all”